REVIEW: ENCHANTED by ALETHEA KONTIS

Enchanted by Alethea Kontis

   Oh ugh what the heck.

   This is the first book that I've read in a while that I literally could not find anything to enjoy. It was slow, it was boring, and the parts that should've been interesting weren't, because they didn't make sense. The romance was convoluted and strained at best. Rumbold was a creepy, pathetic moron, and Sunday was about as interesting as a brick of wood. Together, they made an obnoxious, boring couple that didn't even have the benefit of chemistry or romantic tension on their side.

   Most of this review will probably be a complaint, which, in part, is actually a tribute to how little I enjoyed reading Enchanted. Every aspect of it was, simply put, ridiculous. At least it was for me, at any rate.

  I've hit most of my main points already, and I don't feel like I could really state myself more clearly. Because seriously, I'm all for fairy tale retellings that are kind of cheesy, but this one was a) way over the level of cheesiness that should be legally allowed, and b) was actually just a lot of confusing, popular stories jumbled together in this tangled mess of a love story.

  I'm aware that I probably go overboard in hating male leads in romantic fiction, but Prince Rumbold here didn't even have enough personality to be an unlikeable asshole. He was just plain unlikeable, boring, unrelatable, etc. etc. For that matter, so was Sunday. Dullest love story ever. 

  I actually did like the minor characters–Saturday and Thursday {bless the horrible names in this book and how completely unimaginative and confusing they are} seemed like cool people. And as there is currently a sequel to this book that features Saturday, I feel like I might actually read it. Then again, I don't want to end up hating Saturday, so it's kind of an iffy situation.

   Honestly, for once, that's pretty much it. I have nothing else to say about this book. It was shallow, boring, pointless, and time-wasting, and I actually feel mean saying this right now, because I honestly don't mean this in a spiteful way, I'm just shocked that I stumbled across such a poorly constructed novel after loads of wonderfully unique, fixating ones. I guess my streak of good luck has faded. Rest in peace. 

   

OVERALL RATING: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

REVIEW: BEASTLY by ALEX FLINN

Beastly by Alex Flinn

   I'm just gonna go straight ahead and admit that I've had a really weird fascination with the Beauty and the Beast tale ever since I watched the Disney film for the first time in my younger years. It was and still is one of my all-time favourite love stories. {I never said that I couldn't appreciate them.} So, basically, reading this book was basically the literary equivalent of a punch in the gut.

   I've always prided myself on my ability to differentiate really bad, creepy, unhealthy relationships from beautiful, wholesome, poignant ones.

   It's the Beauty and the Beast tale, except set in New York, and about fifty times darker. The worst part is that it doesn't even make up its own dark stuff, it just magnifies the creepy elements already in the classic story and makes them realistic. The dad who sells her out. The reason why the curse was placed in the first place. Etc. etc. etc. 

   And I really liked it.

   I hate insta-love above all things. But in this book, even with the many time skips, you can actually watch and feel Adrian and Linda falling in love. It's kind of painful. And it should be beautiful, except for the parts that killed it.

   Being disappointed in this book makes me sad, mostly because a lot of the raw emotion it evoked was pure and brilliant, and obviously, the characters and character development were exemplary. But there were just so many uncomfortable parts. So many.

   First of all, the dialogue and writing itself always seemed slightly... Off. I couldn't quite place it at first, but then the realization hit me: Everything's a simple sentence, and nothing hurts. 

   So yeah, the writing is choppy and the dialogue sounds stilted and awkward. That hindered the reading experience somewhat, even if it lowered my rating by a star, which is fine. 

   But then we get to Adrian, who, even though he developed spectacularly, was so awkward and creepy in places that I literally had to put the book down after short bursts and wander off to read something else. I don't know about you guys, but I'm one of those people who gets loads of secondhand embarrassment. I have a tendency to bite my lip and giggle-snort when someone on film, in books, or in reality does something stupid or humiliating. 

   So yeah, loads of lip-biting and giggle-snorting. Oh, and don't forget the eye-rolling, yeah?

   I just... I mean, it wasn't even his ridiculous methods of courting Linda that freaked me out. {Although it was mostly that.} Sometimes he'd just get randomly angry and throw things around, and then apologize, which was supposed to show character development but just made me feel like he was really lame. Also, the whole section with him changing my name sounded so childish that I wanted to smack his furry face and tell him to sit down.

It's actually been a while since I've been so utterly embarrassed for someone's existence, so, in a way, Adrian King should get a round of applause from me and my delicately blushing features. 

  Except no, you get a 3/5 stars instead.

   All-in-all, it's a beautiful stand alone romance, if you can get over the cringe-worthy courtship rituals and the somewhat choppy writing. But seriously, it's not a long read, so if you ever feel the need for a story with a happy ending. Because yes, there's a happy ending.

OVERALL RATING: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

{Sigh, seems like I only rate 3/5s lately... Oh, well.}